I am currently writing about the topics that are completely new for me - mommy topics. But if you don't care about those, you can patiently wait that I post about something else. I have some reviews coming up (Bourjois and Essence).

I always thought that breastfeeding comes naturally. That you give birth to that little child and then he just starts sucking the milk out of your breast. Simple like that. 
Well in theory it's all simple, but the truth is all different.

1st: When I first got milk it was unexpected. I just woke up and my vest was half wet. It had no smell, it was just wet. I thought I spilled water on myself, since I has half dead - tired. Then after breastfeeding my dear, it started running for the other breast. Simultaneously! I didn't expect that! After that my breasts looked plastic and they were super full! And they also hurt, oh my - they hurt! It was a terrible tension pain. It luckily went away after a couple of days - now I only feel it right before the milk comes out and it doesn't hurt anymore.

2nd: Breastfeeding hurts (tho not because of breastfeeding itself!). Yes, your nipples are probably all sensitive from pregnancy and then this little fellow comes and lacths on them! And oh my, both of you have absolutely no idea what you are doing, he just goes on and on and sucks, sucks, sucks and doesn't mind at all. For me it hurt quite a while and the lanolin based cream was a nipple-saviour! I applied many times a day and it really helped. Even later I used it quite a lot, especially since my LO (little one) wanted to be on the breast for 40minutes +. Even if there's no milk coming out in the beginning, you should try to nurse as much as you can, because it helps with milk production. I pumped from the beginning because I was super paranoid of not having milk!

3rd: You have to learn how to breastfeed. It is not complicated. But you have to 'apply' (sorry totally wrong term!) your kid firmly to your breast. I was too gentle, I was afraid I would hurt him. I was also holding my breast, so he could breathe (don't do that, he will move his head away in a more comfortable position to breathe - and also under the nose forms a triangle of space, so he can breathe normally). It was awkward. One nurse helped me a lot, then the other told me I need those nipple pads and it still didn't help - we just didn't put the child correctly to my breast. But later we learned. Just put him firmly and strongly to your breast. Don't hurt him (!!), but don't be afraid. He needs to learn to grab the nipple and you can help with that a lot! Oh and you have to 

4th: I was so afraid he is getting too little of my milk. I was so afraid that I asked them to give him the formula. And they did. That's why we bought some to give him when we got home. And let me tell you something..  My breasts were super full while I was giving him the formula! I didn't know why he was crying, so I thought he was getting too little of my milk and he is hungry. Well he was not. He also moved his head away and cried when he had enough, but I didn't know! I thought he didn't have the strengh to lacht on my breast. So I also gave him formula. I overfeed him the first week I got home. Then the nurse came to visit and prohibited me to feed him formula, or I'd get mastitis. So I stopped. And he wasn't hungry, my breasts were happy and I was happy. 

5th: Somewhere in between I got myself a pump. Pumping hurts more than nursing (and the nipples are later shaped as the hole in the pump which is huge!! - but they do get back to normal, haha ;), and it is annoying. At least with the Philips Avent hand pump. Medela is much better, but I don't have it. With mine I hardly get any milk out (I got quite a while out, but I was super relaxed), and when I still feel I have milk inside only drops come out. It is frustrating! I completely and utterly dislike pumping. I mean I need to change position during pumping, massage my breasts and some other 'tricks' so the milk comes flowing out. Bleh. And not to mention the pumps are truly expensive. The one I got was 40€ (in action!), and the electric ones start at 150€+. 

6th: The leaking of the milk. At first it happened completely randomly. I had to wear a bra day and night. I didn't know when it was coming and when it stopped. It just happened and if I didn't watch it I could end all wet and sticky (milk is super sweet!) in a matter of seconds. After a couple of weeks it calmed down, and I could finally feel the freedom of sleeping without the damned bra! I had a towel close to me in case I had to nurse my son and the other breast started leaking. Or in case I just leaked. I do still wear the nursing pads (life saviour!), tho once or twice I leaked through them :/. It was an awkward situation for me, but the dress was whiteish so it wasn't visible to others. But still, quite annoying. Ohh and the leaking starts if I don't feed my dear baby in the established hours. Or if I think about him being hungry or... the list goes on. But weirdly enough it doesn't happen all the time :).

But in the end I feel super proud and happy that I can breastfeed my child. And the most important thing - it bonds us! I didn't feel all that attached to my child when I gave birth to him (remember, I was tired), but the breastfeeding bond us together and now I mad love him!!

But my dear readers, if a mother decides she won't or can't breastfeed her child - there's nothing wrong. We all love our children in the end. 
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