Okay I'll write this... it's about time! My memory is starting to fade and I really want to write this.. so I can remember later how it is.. :D
Okay lets see... Labour just passed and I was given my small tiny baby in the birth room. Do you guys remember when I said I was really tired?
So there he was, my little tiny baby. Beautiful yet so out of this world.. So innocent, so.. needy. Little, perfect!
There are no accurate words to describe how I felt when I held him. He looked so fragile.
I was alone in my room (no roommates, because I asked for a single room), so my dear slept with me for two nights. I thought I was going to stay in there for 4 days, but on Sunday I was ready to go. It came as a shock, but at the same time - a relief. I wanted to go out with my baby.
Because all I was doing in my room was: eating, checking if baby is breathing, nursing, pumping, sleeping, chatting on my phone (lol - FB and all that). I was still really scared of handling my baby. I was afraid I'd hurt him while changing or handling him. I didn't get a good night sleep, even if he was sleeping most of the time for the first two days. I was so afraid he's going to stop breathing. It freaked me out!
The first two nights he was sleeping in the 'common' room. I needed some sleep, and I wasn't sure what to do with him. The third night, so the last one, I wanted to have him by my side - because I saw how the common room looked like. All babies crying. Drove me nuts!! We didn't sleep because baby was crying most of the night and we had NO idea what is wrong. Now I guess he just wanted to be in my arms and not in that tiny little bed.
I'll add a CLICK to read more because this is VERY long!
(it's at the end of this post, a blue button, do you see it?)
We went straight home and than to my home on the sea side. I wanted to have someone to help me with my newborn. And my mom said she'd do it plus my mother in law came there too.
So we were one big happy family for 14 days. ;)
The LO nursed for hours, I mean HOURS after we got out of the hospital. It took us more than 5 hours to get ready and pack to get to the seaside. Woah! I wasn't prepared for THIS!
I was really happy that I had someone to help me (my dear, my mom, mother in law, sisters, grandma), because I was exhausted. I was nursing almost all the time (it was incredibly hot up to 39 Celsius degrees and without the A/C!). Baby was thirsty most of the time or he wanted to cuddle. Nothing wrong with that.
But it drained me. During the day (when baby took a nap) I couldn't sleep because of the heat, later when he took a nap I couldn't sleep because of the mosquitoes (did I mention that I really dislike them?!).
In the night baby didn't want to sleep until 3AM and then he woke up at 5AM. Every single day. I think it was too hot for him too. That stabilized only after we got back home from the seaside to a colder climate. Then he finally began sleeping. Before it was really an achievement if he slept till 7AM.
The only way for me to get some sleep was cosleeping - and nursing him while I slept. It worked but it took me a couple of weeks to get to this concept :D. I was really afraid at first; that I'd roll over him, that he'd stop breathing, and so on. But once you sleep with your baby your sleep is really light so you can hear him even fart!
I got my first hour of sleep about two weeks after he was born. Everyone was really kind!
Did I notice the annoying lochia? The huge cotton pads were my friends! I went through 13 packages of those. It was nuts! I was showering a couple of times per day, because it was just flowing. But at least it didn't hurt. If I am not mistaken it took 6-7 week for the lochia to disappear. I am really happy that I didn't have any problem after birth.
Full breast were my companion during those nights and days. I wore a bra 24/7. I don't like wearing bras when I don't have to!
So .... the 2nd week I went on a walk. Actually if I remember correctly I took daily little walks - but it hurt too much and I had no strength to do longer ones. It hurt! An needling kind of pain, strong in the lower abdomen, that stops the moment you sit down. It's no wonder they tell women to do absolutely (or almost) nothing for the first 6 weeks - that is the minimal healing time.
I wanted to go out, to be free, to live again. Nope! I wasn't used being there 24/7 for someone, it was a hard check to reality for me. Whenever he cried I nursed him, or took him in my arms (actually in those first weeks/months he was rarely anywhere else than in someone's arms), changed him and so on. He is one cuddly little baby!
Oh one IMPORTANT lession we learned is - when baby sleeps, he sleeps. Don't wake him up. Don't wake him up even if you think he pooped himself. NOT important. If he sleeps, he sleeps. If you'll wake him up it will take literally hours before he falls asleep again.
OHh I absolutely forgot to mention tummy cramps. He had those. Colicky little baby. Honey went to Austria to get him those vitamin D drops and something fro the cramps. We tried them all. Nothing really helped, nothing! One thing only made it bearable - sweet drops that every pharmacy has. For such problems. They are sweet so the baby stops crying for a while and farts :D. It helped a bit, just a tiny bit...
Also a nurse came to visit us in the first two weeks of life. She helped with nursing, helped with bathing (when he was 20 days old), cleaning, explained some things and so on. When I was pregnant I thought that it's not necessary for anyone to do that. But let me tell you - it was a real help! As a new mom I was extremely worried. Everything worried me. EVERYTHING. I couldn't sleep because I was so worried, I was one of those cliche worry moms.
Ok I'll continue on in the 2nd month.. this is getting ridiculously long! I know that this post may have come to you as extremely confused.. But it's true! I don't remember much, except of him going on and off the breast. And me being tired, and him cuddling against me. Most of the time :). Oh and lots of lovely yummy food..
But we'll continue with that in the next months.. Sorry new moms - if you wanted to know how it's like being a mom the first month - confusing if you're not used to it.. lol :D